people. . . .

You know something, I'm done. I'm done with people. People tend to piss me off, with their self-centered ways. It cracks me up. I see my sister, 12, wearing make-up. What is that. She is too young for make-up. Oh well, what the hell do I know. I'm tired of people trying to act gangster and know nothing about that lifestyle. I love ridding around in lansdale looking at these suburdan fucks wearing a g-unit shirt thinking they are "bad-asses" If you are from the hood and you have the oppritunity to make it out, you DO NOT BRAG ABOUT IT, NOR ARE YOU PROUD OF IT. But what do I know. I'm tired of people complaining about the small shit, when other people halfway around the globe can't find dinner for their fucking family. People who are being raped at the very second you are reading this entry (if anyone reads this shit). I'm tired of these journals. I'm just FUCKING TIRED. I'm better than this shit. I took an oath to defend this nation with my life. AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO KILL ANYONE WHO DEDCIDES TO GET IN MY WAY. I have no more patience. I'm tired of holding back, being the bigger person. I'm always the bigger person. I actually have the ability to think 5 minutes ahead, knowing the consequences of my decisions and the ripple effect they have on people's lives. I'm just tired. And I'm all by myself. I don't know about dating anymore. For now it is useless. I'm leaving in a month for the Air Force so, who cares anyway. I just get the feeling that no one really cares. I have no self pity. I have self esteem. I have a drive. You know what I hate the most. When friends don't call. It seems like I have to call everyone I know, cause most of them don't call me. And when I do call I get blown off in the fucking wind. Again, who really cares. I know who are my true friends. I know who would put their life on the line for me. The thing is, and I think about this from time to time, I would die for everyone that I have met and became friends with so far in my life. I would die for people that I don't even talk to anymore. What cracks me up is knowing that they probably wouldn't die for me. I would never ask them to do that. And I don't think they would ever ask me to do it too, but I would, and I wouldn't think twice about it, I would just do it. I value friendship, some people shit on it. But what the fuck do I know. I know that I feel like i'm like 60. I feel like I should be older, married, a father, with a job, and a house, and a family dog named charlie. I feel older than I really am. I can easily cut through the bullshit and get to the point. So what am I going to find in the military? Friends, girlfriend, wife, soul-mate, death? I don't know. All I know is, is that I'm going to be with a group of people who will be willing to put their life on the line for me, and they know I would do the exact same for them, no questions asks, no hesitation. That is a comforting thought. To know someone will always have your back, no matter what. Because we as United States Citizens, we have it good. Better than most people. But we have a terriable drive: $$$. Money makes the world go 'round. I would put oil in that fashion as well. I fear business. I fear that drive from more money. I hate how I watch money dictate peoples lives. I HATE hearing "oh he is so successufel because he has a big paying job, a boat, a mansion, etc." Money is man made. Money is a joke. I HATE money. I hate even more what a person would do in the gain of more money. The greed. Measuring your life in money is a BIG MISTAKE. Everyone does it. "I make $120,000 a year!!!" Good job, are you a good person? Do you live by values and integrity, or will you do whatever it takes to gain more wealth? Probably the latter. This is a shame. A FUCKING SHAME. What have we come to as human beings? But I can't change another person, and my intention isn't as such. My intention is to live a life of values, integrity, and respect. I intend to do right among people. I just want to do the right thing. I can't please everyone, and I don't intend to do so. I'm going to live my live as right and as proper as possible. I know the difference between right and wrong. I will use this knowledge in my decision making process.

Well I ranted for a little bit. If you read this, kudos to you. You won absolutely nothing. I'm tired and I'm going to bed. I know that my last post said I was done with this journal. This post contradicts the previous. So what. I don't know when my last post will be. But if you do read this, and if you are ever wondering how little old donnie is doing, just know that I'm done, and awating July 31st. I leave then. when I come back for two weeks after training, I will visit those people who matter to me; those people who stuck their necks out there for me, those people who knew how to pick up a fucking phone and call someone, and not just blow someone off. Whatever.