| My little Sister |
[Jul. 5th, 2006|12:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jose Miguel, "Salsa en la guarida" | ] |
WHAT AM I TO DO? My little sister is out of her mind, no, she lost her mind. She has this attitude that I can not even begin to explain. She'll roll her eyes and scream that she hates you if she doesn't get her way. Constantly she will di this, EVERY DAY. She has no concept of respect and no integrity whatsoever. MY little brother has more sense than she does. What makes it even worse is that my mother just lets her do it. And I try to tell her it, when I do, it clearly goes in one ear and out the other. My little sister will make you want to rip her head off. I can't stand it anymore. I WILL NEVER HAVE A CHILD ACT LIKE THAT TOWARDS ME OR HER MOTHER (MY WIFE!!!!)!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!! My mom just gives in to her. SHE CAN'T SAY TO HER, "No Mercedes, you have to learn you lesson." Normally its just, "Whatever" or "I don't care right now." This I what my FUCKING MOTHER SAYS. HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO RAISE A DAUGHTER WITH THAT TYPE OF ATTITUDE?!?!?!?!?!?!? Or maybe I'm just out of my mind and I'm the crazy one. I know she is only a child. And I was once a child. Even worse, she is a little girl on the verge of her first period, and it is comming. These are no excuses. Once a child acts like that, you put them right in line. Simple. This is where they learn the concept of respect. This is when they learn. Or they will learn the hard way, when someone is fed up with my sister's attitude out there in the real world, they will get a gun and blow her head off; or just have her beaten up. I've seen it. I've been a part of it, on both ends. People's mouths get them in so much trouble it is crazy. If parents actually did their fucking jobs, then maybe we wouldn't have this problem. I seriously think that people need a liscense to be parents. This certification should come with a training program and a test. You fail the test you get no kids, until you can prove that you understand the necessary factors that pertain to the rearing of a child. Or we can just have a bunch of little bitches running around with no serious parental control. If parents just did their job. . . Or maybe I'm just crazy. My mom puts my sister on punishment. The next day she is at the pool with her friends. The day after that I come home to find out that she is at the movies. I wish I had those types of punishments when I grew up. She needs her world turned upside down. She needs a serious wake-up call. And I fear that she will never get that. And whill grow to hate athourity. You will get nowhere in this world with that type of attitude. My Grandfather came home from the hospital today. After being hooked up to IVs and shit he is home. My sister is there with my Grandmother, my Aunt Patty, my little brother, and my Mom. She acts like she doesn't care about anyone but herself. She screams, pouts, shouts, cries, until she gets her way. AND PEOPLE JUST GIVE IN TO HER!!!!! My grandfather has to listen to this shit. Watch this shit, IN HIS OWN FUCKING HOUSE!!! If I were him, I would've asked to be readmitted to the hospital to get me away from that that type of stress. She doesn't care about Grandpa, because if she had one bone in her body that did, she would not have acted the way she did today, and the previous two days while she was there. My mom does nothing. We come home tonight, 12:13 am, and she askes my Mom to make a s'more. A FUCKING S'MORE!!!!!!! the full monty, marshmellow, hershey chocolate, grahmcracker. AND MY MOM SAYS YES. FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHY THE FUCK DID SHE SAY YES, WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked at my mother as if she had lost her mind. Did mercedes get her s'more? I looked my mother in her eyes and told her, ". . . she will have to get it over my dead fucking body!!" Oh and the crying starts, the screaming, the "I HATE YOU"s emerge. And my mother doesn't act like she gives a flying fuck!! She didn't get the s'more. I think she is actually in my mother's room right now. WAY TO FUCKING GO!!! WAY TO DISCPLINE HER MA!!!!! What the hell do I know. I don't get it. Why can't my mother just say no to her. I'm done. Seriously, I'm done. I can't wait to leave this house, because it doesn't feel like home to me. I'm just passing through. I'm done. I know one thing: Once I have my own family, my children will be raised right, and I will raise them with a woman who sees eye to eye with my in how to raise a child, so there will be no confusion. I swear I will never under with the life of me why my mother acts like that. She won't even take the smallest portion of responsibility. She thinks the television will raise her. Well if you let that happen you get a self-centered, disrespectful, insubordinate bitch as the product. Congratulations Mom, because that is what you're going to have in about five years!!!!!!!!!! But what do I know?
P.S.
Happy Birthday to the United States of America!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Random thoughts. . . |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|11:01 pm] |
What makes thunderstorms? Lightning? Tornados? I looked it up on google, all of them. Crazy stuff. There are still aspects of lightning and tornados that no one can explain. Crazy. Why is there gravity? Why is the pressure at sea level 14.7 pounds per square inch? What does the nitrogen do to our body, since our atmosphere is comprised of 75% of it? What if we made smoke stacks that did nothing but admit oxygen into the atmosphere? Whats the deal with oil? Can't we find another form of fuel? Maybe the sun? Hell, maybe grass? Why does there have to be an equal and opposite reaction to every action? Want to be even more confused? Why not?
I love jazz. I just learned the blues scale on the piano. It is really easy, and no matter what note you play in the 12 bar blues chord progression, it sounds really really good. I love it. Did you know that the old guy in back to the future plays a klingon in Star Trek III? He looks a lot yonger in Star Trek. Today was a waste of a day. I did nothing productive. I did go to the pool however. Thats about it. Well, i'm not even in a thinking mood right now. I know that it's getting closer to the day that I leave for the Air Force. Wow. I still can't belive I joined up. We'll see what happens when I get there. Should be interesting nontheless.
I need to go flying. It's been a while. I'm going to play some more Jazz now on my keyboard. |
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| Wow! |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|01:16 am] |
Wow, I actually just read my previous post. I sound a little pist off. LOL. That must've been a bad day I guess. Wow. We do all have hang-ups; I have a great deal of my own. I don't know. Maybe one day I'll find the meaning of life. What is the meaning of life? More importantly, why does life have to have meaning? Why not? In the end does it really matter? When is the end? When was the beginning? Thats too much to think about right now. My Grandfather is in the hospital. I hate hospitals. They make me sick, and to think I used to work at one. He didn't look good at all, but he still had his sense of humor. That man cracks me up with with his humor, maybe because it reminds me of my own taste in humor. The sarcastic reality type of humor. He had a mini-stroke. His brain cells are dying. Notwithstanding this fact, his wit continues to be a defining factor in his personality. My Grandmother, on the other hand, cracks me up too, but for a different reason. She too is blunt, and she loves to talk. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, because I think it is utterly amazing how serious she gets. The nurse asked my Grandfather who he lived with at home. He replies, "My wife. . . " My Grandmother quickly chimes in, ". . . of 57 years I might add!!" You would have to be there to hear how she pronounced "FIF-ty-seven". That's my family. I will miss them indeed. I still can't believe I joined the Air Force. Even after taking all the tests, I still don't know what I'm going to do. I do however have an open mind. As long as they can pay for the rest of my degree, I am not one to complain. I can't wait to be in. Part of me wants to do Security Forces, but I know that job will be boring as hell. I need a job where my brain is constantly active, or else I will dose off into a deep sleep. Intelligence would be an interesting feild to work in. I'll put that on the top of my list. That Tech School is very long. 23 weeks if I'm not mistaken. I will miss all of my friends too. I'll make new ones. Friends, they do come and go. It's July 3rd. I have 28 days left as a civilian until I take my active duty oath. There is no turning back. I might just use this journal and update my progress once I get in. I can't use it during my six weeks at basic training at Lackland AFB, but once I get to my tech school and I have my computer shipped to me, I can update this thing all the time. I must sleep now. I am tired. |
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| people. . . . |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|11:31 pm] |
You know something, I'm done. I'm done with people. People tend to piss me off, with their self-centered ways. It cracks me up. I see my sister, 12, wearing make-up. What is that. She is too young for make-up. Oh well, what the hell do I know. I'm tired of people trying to act gangster and know nothing about that lifestyle. I love ridding around in lansdale looking at these suburdan fucks wearing a g-unit shirt thinking they are "bad-asses" If you are from the hood and you have the oppritunity to make it out, you DO NOT BRAG ABOUT IT, NOR ARE YOU PROUD OF IT. But what do I know. I'm tired of people complaining about the small shit, when other people halfway around the globe can't find dinner for their fucking family. People who are being raped at the very second you are reading this entry (if anyone reads this shit). I'm tired of these journals. I'm just FUCKING TIRED. I'm better than this shit. I took an oath to defend this nation with my life. AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO KILL ANYONE WHO DEDCIDES TO GET IN MY WAY. I have no more patience. I'm tired of holding back, being the bigger person. I'm always the bigger person. I actually have the ability to think 5 minutes ahead, knowing the consequences of my decisions and the ripple effect they have on people's lives. I'm just tired. And I'm all by myself. I don't know about dating anymore. For now it is useless. I'm leaving in a month for the Air Force so, who cares anyway. I just get the feeling that no one really cares. I have no self pity. I have self esteem. I have a drive. You know what I hate the most. When friends don't call. It seems like I have to call everyone I know, cause most of them don't call me. And when I do call I get blown off in the fucking wind. Again, who really cares. I know who are my true friends. I know who would put their life on the line for me. The thing is, and I think about this from time to time, I would die for everyone that I have met and became friends with so far in my life. I would die for people that I don't even talk to anymore. What cracks me up is knowing that they probably wouldn't die for me. I would never ask them to do that. And I don't think they would ever ask me to do it too, but I would, and I wouldn't think twice about it, I would just do it. I value friendship, some people shit on it. But what the fuck do I know. I know that I feel like i'm like 60. I feel like I should be older, married, a father, with a job, and a house, and a family dog named charlie. I feel older than I really am. I can easily cut through the bullshit and get to the point. So what am I going to find in the military? Friends, girlfriend, wife, soul-mate, death? I don't know. All I know is, is that I'm going to be with a group of people who will be willing to put their life on the line for me, and they know I would do the exact same for them, no questions asks, no hesitation. That is a comforting thought. To know someone will always have your back, no matter what. Because we as United States Citizens, we have it good. Better than most people. But we have a terriable drive: $$$. Money makes the world go 'round. I would put oil in that fashion as well. I fear business. I fear that drive from more money. I hate how I watch money dictate peoples lives. I HATE hearing "oh he is so successufel because he has a big paying job, a boat, a mansion, etc." Money is man made. Money is a joke. I HATE money. I hate even more what a person would do in the gain of more money. The greed. Measuring your life in money is a BIG MISTAKE. Everyone does it. "I make $120,000 a year!!!" Good job, are you a good person? Do you live by values and integrity, or will you do whatever it takes to gain more wealth? Probably the latter. This is a shame. A FUCKING SHAME. What have we come to as human beings? But I can't change another person, and my intention isn't as such. My intention is to live a life of values, integrity, and respect. I intend to do right among people. I just want to do the right thing. I can't please everyone, and I don't intend to do so. I'm going to live my live as right and as proper as possible. I know the difference between right and wrong. I will use this knowledge in my decision making process.
Well I ranted for a little bit. If you read this, kudos to you. You won absolutely nothing. I'm tired and I'm going to bed. I know that my last post said I was done with this journal. This post contradicts the previous. So what. I don't know when my last post will be. But if you do read this, and if you are ever wondering how little old donnie is doing, just know that I'm done, and awating July 31st. I leave then. when I come back for two weeks after training, I will visit those people who matter to me; those people who stuck their necks out there for me, those people who knew how to pick up a fucking phone and call someone, and not just blow someone off. Whatever. |
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| Flight Planning. . . |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|01:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Top Gun Theme | ] |
So i'm done planning my flight to Cape May County Airport, NJ. It is located right next to wildwood. I don't think that i'm going ot fly it tomorrow because i looked at the time and it is 1:10 in the morning. Not enough sleep = no flying. but we'll see how I feel tomorrow. I really want to see the sun set from 5,500 Feet over the atlantic. What a view. Words alone cannot even begin to describe the view. AWSOME. so if I do go, i'll bring my camera and take 1256 pictures of it. It would be a 1.4 hour flight, so i'm looking to spend about $150. Oh well. It is worth it. I'm gonna do this one solo just to make sure that I can still navigate, LOL! I don't want to scare anyone when I take them up by getting lost because I DO NOT GET LOST. Anyway, I need sleep if i'm even thinking about flying!! I'll see all of you later, and wish me happy landings!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|12:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  touched | ] |
I wish that I could drop everyting that I'm doing and go down to New Orleans and help out. . .God have mercy on those people. . . |
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| The best movie ever. . . |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|12:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | grateful | ] |
Crash is the best and most humbleing movie I have ever seen. And that is all there is to it. |
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| Is the sky really the limit? |
[Aug. 4th, 2004|09:51 pm] |
So yesterday i entered the world of being a certified private pilot, yes, i'm a pilot. I took my checkride and it was way too easy to say the least. It was a lot of fun, but the reality hasn't really set in yet. I need some money so i can go flying. I'm probably going to fly out of Porttstown Limerik (PTW) before i get back to school, or i might go to northeast philly (PNE) to fly the piper i trained in. I don't know yet. You see i really know PNE and N8339C. I know that airplane like the back of my hand. I don't know shit about PTW or the Cessna 172s, well i do cause i soloed in one at flight academy, in fact that was the first aircraft i soloed in, but i'm partial to the low-wing piper.
My mom wants me to take my bro up for his birthday. I think i'm going to take him to PNE, again because i know the aircraft and i don't want to put my brother in harms way because i'm not too sure about a particular aircraft. I'll probably not fly out of PTW because i really love the piper, lol.
I'm gonna take jess and my mom up too one of these days, oh and jess' brother aaron. He would love it, but i want to take them up when it gets cooler outside. You see when it is really hot and humid, inside the aircraft is like an oven until you get airborne, and most of the time it is really bumpy and windy, not too good for a first time passenger in a General Aviation (GA) aircraft. If i do take them up, it would be either in the morning or early evening, before the sun sets.
I got a job!!! I'm back at target, but i'm in AP. SECURITY BABY. Not a bad gig at 8.25 and hour starting. I start tomorrow morning at 8:30. I can't wait, I really can't wait, I have to go through a lot of training and shit, but i NEED this job so i can have money to FLY, oh and buy books for college.
I really miss jess, i need her NOW, no not in that way, well. . . . i just need to hear her voice and smell her presence and shit, you know. 10 months yesterday!!!!!! how about that. I haven't been with a girl for that long ever, and she is the one and only, i don't plan on having another girlfriend ever. One day i might even ask for her hand at marriage (don't let me get ahead of myself)
So all you bastards who want to go flying, give me a call and come up with 40 bucks and i'll take you up. I need the flight time. i'm goig to do as much flying as possibile. I want to be ready for whatever the Air Force throws at me. I've made the first step, and it was an exspenive one at that. I'm now ready for the next step, ROTC. I'm gonna kick ass at ROTC baby, they have no idea what they have commin for them. Next year will be my year to shine.
I can't wait to go back to temple, 25 days and counting. I don't know about these new freshman, i don't trust them and i really don't want to see much of them. AND NONE OF THEM BETTER NOT LOOK AT JESS IN THE WRONG WAY. I will not hesitate to kill a fucker!!! I'm serious. I'm gonna be so damn busy at school, i can't slack this year, no joke, i need to kick some serious ass, and i will. Deans list here i come, like the first song on the Joe Budden's Album. But whatever. I just want to get back to school so i can chill with all my friends, but more importantly, jess.
i think i've written enough, it has been a while, mostly because i've been flying and studying, speaking of which, i'll be at CAP on friday night. I need to go back, and gloat about being a pilot, lol. Ok enough is enough. I'm gonna keep up with this journal now, so don't worry, i'll let all yous know about my life ( i'll let you know as much as i see fit) I LOVE YOU JESS AND ALL THAT MATTER TO ME!!!!!!!! HAPPY LANDINGS!!!! |
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| The calm before the storm. . . . . |
[Jun. 27th, 2004|11:43 pm] |
So this weekend was very interesting for me, for all I did was study study study. I should put this much effort into my college courses, then i'll be a 4.0 student. You know what, I think I'll do that next year, just to say that I can do it, I can get a 4.0 in every class I'm taking next semseter, and I'm gonna study my ass off. Freshman year was for messing around, this year, i'm gonna kick some serious ass.
So yea, i've been studying for my FAA written, which i think I will be taking tomorrow. I'm scheduled for tuesday, but when my instructor sees my results for my three practice tests, I think he is going to be impressed. My first two i got a 93, which is a 56 out of 60. I was soooo pissed. I wanted a 100, but oh well. I just got done doing my last test and i got a 98!!!!!! which is a 59 out of 60. SO CLOSE. I didn't get it because of a aircraft performance problem. It involved a chart, and those things are hard to read anyway. It was a silly mistake. I feel that a passing score on the written should be at least an 80 becaue pilots should know way more than 70% of the material, they should know all of it. I just have high standards. I'm really looking forward to taking this test, I just want to get it out of the way. I've been reading out this shit for five years, I think i'm ready for the test!!!!!!!
Jess is over her best friend's from home house. They were haveing some rough times, but they are better now, I guess. I hope she doesn't get drunk. One night at school she came to my room and she was a little tipsy, it was soooo cute. "My breath smells like LOOOOOOOOOVE" You would have to be there in order to get the full affect. I love her so much. I'm going to her place tomorrow after my lesson, or test rather. We're going to Denny's. I've been craving some pancakes (wow i don't think i've typed *pancakes* ever!!!!!) and she can just come along for the ride for all i care!!! j/k. I really miss her.
I'm moving on thursday, but we aren't getting the truck untill friday, so i think that i'll be able to go to Drew's house for his B-Day party!!!!!! oh yea baby!!!!!!! but I'm going to go to bed now y'all (oh yea, jess is rubbing off on me). I need my rest for my test tomorrow. PEACE!!! |
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| Study Time. . . |
[Jun. 26th, 2004|08:19 pm] |
So I haven't written in this journal for three days, get ova it!!!
This weekend is being entirley devoted to studying for the FAA written exam for my Private Pilot Certificate. I just took my first practice test. It was a 93. I missed four questions. DAMN. I know the material, but i keep on making really stupid mistakes. I want to get a 100 when i take the real deal, which is on Tuesday I might add. My flight instructor, Tony, said that we are in the phase where we wrap things up now. That made me kinda sad. I'm going to miss having him there next to me in the cockpit. I don't have a confidace issue, but its just when you get used to flying with someone, you know you're going to miss it. Oh well. It's not the written test that i'm worried about, its the practical exam.
The practical is like a driving test, only you have more tasks to perform. I can do all the stalls (power on, power off, cross controlled, acellerated) and the ground reference tasks (turns around a point, s-turns, rectangular course)and the emergency procedures (emergency descent and landing). I can also do short field take offs and landings and soft fiedl take ofs, but the soft field landings i'm not too big on. You see the whole point of the soft field landing is to land softly on the runway, as if you were landing on grass, and you must hold the nose off the ground for as long as you can. This means that you must come in on final approach a little slow and with a little power. Easier said than done. It is NOT east, especially with a crosswinds. I will get it in the next week, but it is a finess thing i have to get down.
So this is what i have left until my certificate: 100 nm nigh cross country, .9 hours instrument training and 3 hours of prep work for the practical. Which adds up to about 5 hours. I have $648 left in the pot, so i'm cutting it real close. I have another 500 waiting, but i don't want to use a lot of that because i'm gonna have to live off of that before i get a job when i move. I'll get my certificate and a job, so i'm not too worried. I won't ad another journal entry until after i take my written exam, so do me a favor and wish me luck!!!!!!! |
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ef2111's journal
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